this is going to be one overdue, super long, super random post.
1. when it comes to writing, I am a minimalist. Everyone tries to use big giant words when writing creatively, to make it sound descriptive. NO! no. no no. it doesn't sound good. You don't want to say, "her beautiful, glorious, golden hair flowed ever so smoothly, like water in a vast, expansive river, and glissenned like that of an angle, her blah blah blah I dont want to hear it!" simple. simple writing is the most beautiful writing in the world. no extensive unnecessary descriptions. simple is better. "her golden hair flowed" or better yet, i prefer "her golden hair flew" flew. like a bird. its nice. it leaves something up to imagination. but its like seriously? you dont need to be over descriptive to write nicely, actually, i really hate overdescriptive poems and stories. it really annoys me.
2. it is definitely wrong how much i love neil patrick harris. every one is like.. seriously? but he's so gay! well i don't care! he is amazing and kick ass and awesome. and i want him to be my best friend. and i love barney stinson. especially in that one episode where he pretended to be married to lily and when he was with robin. barney stinson is amazing. and so is NPH.
3. it's summer. it's actually summer. summer is actually here. i am so happy. i think. pretty much. its summer. but i only have two years of high school left. where did my childhood go? where did everything go? i miss when my sister would sneak around every night to get a midnight snack. now all she does is convince herself that shes not hungry. she used to eat oreos all the time. every picture we have of her, she had oreo crumbs on her face. she was so cute. where did things start to go wrong with her?
4. just to clear the air: i love my sister so so so much. she just doesnt love my family back. and if she does (which im sure she does on some level), she does her best to hide it. it gets so difficult and tiring to deal with her when all she does is yell at me and mom. its like she melted moms backbone. only my dad can get to her. and me on occasion. i dont know why she treats us like she does. i know that on some level she cares, but she has been working on hiding who she truly is and what she really feels for years, to the point where she cant even be nice to us. her whole life is a show. i know she suffers. i know that more than anyone else. but its gotten to a point where its just too much to handle and to do and to ... everything.
5. i really hope that people dont read my blog. i mean. like. i love having one, but i dont want it to be a thing. my blog is for me. other people can read it of course, but i dont want it to become a thing at my school or something. i hope to god no 8th graders or sevies read this. its all really personal. i might change my url.
6. i wish that this year my dad had decided to move to lebanon.
7. i hate that people go to such great measures to lose weight. it really upsets me. she should love herself for who she is, and be proud of herself. i am proud of who i am, and i would never change a thing. she doesnt believe in God anymore. i dont know why. i wonder what made her change her mind. i can't imagine living without believing in God, or believing in something. she doesnt even believe in herself, so i have to believe in her twice as hard. once for me, and once for her.
8. i flushed the pills down the toilet.
9. How i met your mother is really good. like really really good. like good enough that i come home to it every night and it fixes things. its nice to fix things.