Friday, December 24, 2010

Hi there.

I've been thinking...
Not about anything special.
Just thinking.
Aren't you proud of your girl?
I know I am.
Or I try to be.
Sometimes I'm not.
But thats okay.
I don't need to like myself all the time.
That makes it all the better when I do.
Was that grammatically correct?
I don't really care.
Just because I asked doesn't mean I care.
I usually don't care.
I just ask.
Which is all good and well for me.

I'm not here to please you all.
I don't put on make up to please you.
I don't worry about my weight to please you.
I don't put on heels to please you. 
I don't do things for you.
I do things for me.
So that I can like myself.
So that I can live with the decisions that I make.
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for me.
I'm not going to worry about you until I'm done worrying about me.
I'm not for you.
I'm for me.

Do you do things because you think they are right or because you want to?
I do things because I want to.
And hope that what I want happens to be right.
I have to live with myself and the things that I do.
I have to live with that.
So I have to let myself do the stuff that I want.
How can I live with myself if I'm living in denial?
I do what I want.
I feel what I want.
I eat what I want.
I believe what I want.
And hopefully, I get what I want.



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