Tuesday, March 1, 2011


The universe really seems to be against me. Today has just been one of those days where all you want to do is sit in a corner and cry. You want to cry so badly but you are too tired to. You are so tired that you physically cannot move. So instead of getting that longed for emotional release, you sit in you chair because even moving your fingers across the table takes too much energy. I cannot believe it is only Tuesday. Please let me make it through the week alive. Let me start from the beginning...

The second I got home yesterday, I did not care if the world blew up so long as I could take a shower. All I wanted was to scrub my body clean of that day and get on with life. Rehearsal had just been so long and torturous as we are repeatedly doing exhausting runs. I got in the shower and scrubbed my body as hard as I could, wanting to be clean and done, leaving my skin raw. I then ate dinner, taking my time until I found myself at 9:00 without having touched my homework. What a perfect day to have to prepare for two tests.

Because of my wonderful time management skills, I was up all of last night studying. I studied French until midnight, then woke up at 5:00 AM to study math. In addition to just studying math, I had to catch up on a bunch of math homework to turn in, which ended up consuming my entire day. 5 hours of sleep would have been fine if I had not been getting 4-5 hours of sleep for the entire previous week. I really must work on my sleep patterns... I'm sure Tumblr doesn't help.

After waking up and finishing my math work, my Dad yelled at me and made me take 10 pills (vitamins, calcium, iron, vitamin D) because he is convinced that I am a malnourished stick of a girl which is so untrue. After nearly vomiting from the awfulness of the previous task, I got on the bus and proceeded to study more French. My French test was fine.. so I think. You never really know with theses things. We shall see....

The rest of my day was spent studying for math. The only thing I ate all day was a bagel until around 2:00 after my physics class was over and I finally had free. By then, my body was too tired to move and I spent 15 minutes whimpering trying to muster enough energy to get some food. I finally decided that what I needed was a freshly baked, melted, chocolate chip cookie. I was convinced that it would solve all of my problems (it did help significantly). After loading myself up on junk I did some tech before school ended which was fun and could have been more enjoyable if I could actually move my body..

Then I had 4 hours of rehearsal. Oh where to begin... The fact that I couldn't breathe thanks to the two ace bandages constricting my chest was oh so pleasant. In attempt to better resemble the boys that we are playing, many of us have to bind our chests to make us look more boy-like. The only bad thing is that I can't breathe... at all... expanding my ribs in any way is so painful. I can feel my heart trying to beat against the bandage and my ribs actually compressing. Oh so pleasant. For 4 whole hours. Oh what joy. Our director decided to reblock the beginning and the ending of the show... which she has redone about 10 times already... Oh well. It'll end up great. I do trust her. I also do like this beginning/ending more than I did the one before it, so I can't really complain.

Oh it has just been such a long day. This post is basically me just complaining my ass off. With awful grammar, but really, who gives a flying fuck? Now I'm just going to watch tv, eat a cookie, make tea, and go to bed early at 10:00. Please let this day be over..

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