I wish we connect more than I can say. Watching you breaks my heart. I don't want you to hate me or judge me. I just want us to accept each other before I leave and it's too late for us to ever be there for one another. You are all I'll ever have. How did we get here? Why are we like this. Why can't I even hug you without you asking why I'm reaching out to you? Why can't we be healthy for each other? I really do love you, no matter what you might think.