Hello faithful readers/followers. You all read my obscure thoughts.. but I thought I would help you get to know me better by giving you the basics/little facts about me. My name is Zena. I am 16 years old. I am a junior in high school. I love in Los Angeles. I love showers, peace, Hair, sundresses, breakfast, nutella and orange juice. My favorite movie is the 2007 British Death at a Funeral. (Not the American 2010 version which is horrendous). I am currently reading Angels in America and Great Expectations (the latter for English class). I am currently working on a play called The History Boys. We open in a 11 days. Come see us if you can! I will post more about it later... My favorite celebrities include Sutton Foster, Jonathon Groff, Gavin Creel, Neil Patrick Harris, Aaron Tviet, Steel Burkheardt, Kacie Sheik, Allison Case, and James McAvoy. I spend all of my time at school between classes and rehearsal (I was there for over 12 hours on Friday) but I love it. Guilty pleasure TV shows are Gilmore Girls and Friends (along with the occasional Dawson's Creek spisode). Favorite show currently airing is probably How I Met Your Mother or Raising Hope (both are very funny).

Let us discuss how much I adore Ben Barnes. I am currently watching Dorian Grey (he plays the title role) and he is amazing as usual. Not only is he talented, but he is beautiful. In short, he is wonderful. Watch his movies.

Please. I just want to leave. I just want to go away for a very long time. I want to leave everything behind. Every possession, every thought, every person and just leave. I want to be alone far far away from here and just experience the magic of the life I have been given and this world. Far away. I don't want to be in school every day. I want to be breathing and living. Not crushed under a growing pile of tests and homework. Please, just let me go.

I want to go to college! NOW. ok-thanks-bye.

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckkkkk. I had a dream I was married to Aaron Tveit. It was great. Then I woke up and found a half finished essay in front of me due tomorrow. Fuck...... balls.

I adore my school, but sometimes I question... Is it worth it? I slave away. I get good grades but I work all night long. Yes, I procrastinate, and yes I watch TV, but I work my ass off. I know it is worth it. I just. These are supposed to be my great years, and I am up until 2 am writing essays or studying physics. Yes I put it on myself by taking four APs but still. I would rather learn for the sake of knowledge rather than getting As. I wish I could take more electives that I find interesting than normal APs (although I love my classes). I cannot wait until college. My college list is so ambitious though. We shall see.....

I adore you all. I really do.

This post is long overdue, so I apologize in advance for its length. So much to say... Where to start?

A few weeks ago, my class went on a "kindness retreat" because according to the rest of the school, our grade is made up of bitches and we all hate each other. (This, in fact, is not the case. Apart from a group of ten girls, our grade is pretty friendly). The retreat was actually fun and those ten girls were civil. I was impressed. There we all set up little "mail boxes" and we all wrote each other cute little nice notes. I got so so many kind ones and I simply adore every person who gave me one and brightened my day. My favorites included my best friend writing me Hair and Rent lyrics and three incredibly thoughtful notes reading:

- You are such a genuinely sweet person. I've only ever heard you say nice and friendly things. I cant help but smile when I see you! (Written by a wonderful girl that I never get to talk to and don't know too well)

- You are perfect, really. You're smart, talented, beautiful, funny, and 100% original. You're my best friend, no matter what. Know that your conviction and sense of self make me want to be a better person. (this not made me more happy than I can say. I love the girl who wrote this and her amazingly sweet note left me smiling all day. I love her all the more for this note).

- You are a great actress, I love your voice. Remember us when you're a star :) (This note was sent anonymously and was the best surprise in my bag of kindness)

Secondly, if anything has taken over my life in the past few weeks, it has been thinking about college. Oh I have so many schools on my list! (Half of which I most likely will not get into, seeing as it is nearly impossible to do so. I don't mind though. I adore my safety schools and therefore don't see the need to apply to more likely schools that I only half like (instead of very difficult schools that I love as much as I love my safeties). I would rather get into one GREAT school than five okay schools. I still have a lot of narrowing down to do seeing as my list has 21 schools on it... Oh college....

Today I had an amazing day. It was actually great. (Sorry this post is jumping around so much). I woke up early and went to breakfast at John O' Groats (always great). It is such a nice homey place. I always see someone I know there. My favorite breakfast place by far. Today I saw two of my friends' dads having breakfast there together... interesting. There are a bunch of tables there, as well as a counter (basically in the form of a bar with stools). I love sitting at the bar, and since I was alone it made perfect sense to. I ended up seated in between two men. The first one was pretty chatty with me.. As I sat down, he saw the giant college book I was holding and talked to me for 10 minutes straight about schools, his children, his wife, his niece, and more schools. He was interesting.. However, my favorite interaction that morning occurred between the second man and myself. After the first man left, the second man peered over his newspaper and said in a very high pitched, mocking voice, "So you want to talk about colleges? No, the girl doesn't want to talk about colleges. She is eating her biscuit and that's all that matters to her". He was too right, seeing as John O'Groats biscuits are to. die. for. I then went and saw Barney's Version which was a good, entertaining movie (aside from a few slow parts). I then went home and had dinner with some family friends (a man my dad went to high school with, his wife, and their two children of ages 3 and 1). The children were adorable! His wife, as most Lebanese women are, is shallow, loud, and talks nonstop. However, she is nice enough and is quite thoughtful. I then proceeded to walk with my dad for an hour and a bit in the rain. I am now on tumblr and watching Criminal Minds. A good close to a good day. :)

If you actually read all of this, I am impressed. You get major Zena points (which may prove to be quite valuable..). You are awesome, oh beautiful, dedicated reader.