...... so I kind of got a tumblr. 

http://be-ok-nala.tumblr.com/

sorry guys.

Birthday

16? really? crazy........

My mom is the sweetest thing. I got home, and there was a little box out side of my room with a beautiful little pearl necklace that I vow to wear on my wedding day, if i get married. and then i walked into the kitchen, and she baked me a cake, and laid out a bunch of chocolate and made me dinner. she is so sweet it makes me want to cry.

Also, my old neighbors from St. Louis gave me a kick ass history of theater book. im suck a geek, i know.

shout out to:

- Jamie: awesome and delish rainbow cupcakes. thanks baby girl!!

- skye: for decorating my not top locker. love ya

- therine: the tots, and the awesome amazing card

- doug: ... the texas song

- phoebe: for amelia airfart comments on my wall and for being you

- newby and nette for many birthday wishes

- finn lohman: chicago!

thanks guys. you rock my world.

i think im going to go eat some cake right now... and do my bio lab... and revise an essay.

:)

Glee.....

hey guys... so im somewhat ashamed to admit that i auditioned for gleee..... if you guys could give me a gold star that would be great though! if you go to http://www.myspace.com/gleeauditions scroll down a bit right under the promo video and search Zena under gleeks, im the one with out a picture, and click on me, and give me a gold star, that would be awesome my goal is to get a callback... but my videos are super crappy... but it was just for fun thanks so much guys!!! xoxooxox

Reality Check?

You never see it. You just turn around one day, and there it is, boom! in your face, right there, where its always been. You just never saw. And then everything starts to change. At first slowly, then faster, and faster until you get lost in the blur, and you can't hide who you are anymore. 

Here I Am World. This Is Me. 

Its amusing, observing myself. I am so shallow and spacey. I never concentrate, I do as little work as possible to get by, and the only thing that I really care about is myself and my happiness. Its just so funny, because I always make such big deals out of things that aren't. I kind of want to move to the woods. Just so that I can see how many days I survive alone without any resources. I would probably get eaten by a bear. Hah. 

What the bear doesn't know is that the joke's on him. I don't have too much meat on my bones. 

A bunch of random shit

So basically, last night I had the most amazing dream of my life. My school, went on a trip to all over africa, india, and china for two weeks, stayed in nice hotels, but really explored the city, not just the nice parts, and it was amazing. In my life, I don't want to stay here. I want to leave and travel all over the globe. I really wish my dad had decided to move to lebanon this year, instead of staying here. Life should be an adventure thats not planned out, but culture has already planned out my future: go to college, go to medschool, get my medical internship, residency, fellowship, then actually become a doctor, then be a doctor and save lives. DONE. That is like.... what... 15 years of my life? I dont want to waste those. I want to take a year off sometime, just being somewhere else. Not studying abroad, but just being abroad. Being anywhere else but here. Ive revised my XD bucket list:

- Every year travel to two different continents

- Have a baby

- Live for a year by yourself in a foreign city that does not speak english

- Live for a year in a foreign city with my baby

- Fall in love

- Write a genuinely good book

- Be in one professional play

- Eat real chinese food from china

- Visit schuyler in china

- Actually live in lebanon

- Learn to cook amazing lebanese food from my grandmother before she dies (that wont be soon, but you never know)

- Visit every continent before I'm thirty

- Make life an adventure, every day

Note how get married was not on that list. I don't want to be too tied down. I don't know if I want to get married anymore. Only if I find someone who, just being around them, makes me want to fuse my life with theirs, will I ever get married. Right now, Im not sure that I want something that will last forever. At the same time.. im not going to make major life decisions at this moment. 

24 hour play festival. I really have no words. It was fun.... besides all of the.... not fun things...that  happened? Most valuable thing I learned? I am kick ass at stacking tennis balls on peoples hands. I mean, it was fun performing... but the process was not the most amazing experience of my life. It could have been a bit better. Thank God Lyric is so supah chill and let us sleep.

Letter Number Eight

um....... YES? I am so excited for next year and so happy that I got in, even though I got my letter two weeks after every one else. Next year is going to be scary and hard but so much fun. Super excited.

Letter Number Seven

I know this is super after the fact..... but SARAH KLEIN!!!

I love you so much! you are awesome and amazing and beautiful, and the best damn singer ever. Next year is going to be awesome

Riddle Answers

Hey Guys

So the answers to the two riddles from this week are:

1: He came home at 8:00 AM, the morning after he was to return

2: The man was interested in the frame that the painting came in

Yay........

I just really like puzzles like these. wooooooooo.....

College Tour Bitches!!!! See you in a week.

:)

AND I STILL DONT KNOW YET!!!

Letter Number Six

SARAH WHITE!! MY FITZY!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! YOU WILL BE AMAZING AND KICK ASS IN DRAMA ENSEMBLE NEXT YEAR!!! I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD GET IN!!

Side Note:

I realize that I skipped letter number three, which was Millie's letter, but she did not want me to tell anyone, because she likes telling people, so I took that post down, but it will come up later!

I'm so proud of my girls!

Letter Number Five

DANA BENTON!!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!!! YOURE AMAZING AND AWESOME AND I KNEW YOU WOULD GET IN!! IM SO SO PROUD OF YOU!!!

ten millionth post today....?

The mail came! But no letter. I knew I wasnt getting one. But you know, I wanted one anyways. :)

Letter Number Four

JACKIE EMERSON!! YOU ARE AMAZING AND SO TALENTED!! I LOVE YOU TO DEATH!! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!! I KNEW YOU WOULD GET IN!! YOU ARE GOING TO ROCK IN DRAMA ENSEMBLE NEXT YEAR!! (YOU ALREADY ROCK NOW)

Snail Mail

the mail is supposed to come by 4:08pm! I know I'm not getting a letter, but I still really really want one. I'm so angry at my situation! Its ok though. I can't really do anything to change it. Mail please come!!!!!!

Letter Numbah Three

MILLICENT KASTEN!!! I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! YOU ARE AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND SMART AND A KICK ASS ACTRESS!! IM SO PROUND OF YOU!!

Letter Number Two

PHOEBE I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!! I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT!!! I LOVE YOU TO DEATH BABY GIRL!!! YOU ARE AMAZING!!

First Letter

YAY CHRISTINA!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!! PARTAYY!!

The Mail

Drama ensemble letters are coming. But I don't get a letter because I haven't told coach if I'm moving yet or not. I hate that my parents can't make a decision. Waiting for my letter (which I know is not going to come anytime soon) makes me feel like I'm waiting for a hogwarts owl. All the excitement and anticipation. I want to get in so badly! Just like I would if I was a wizard.  I wish I was a wizard. I also secretly wish that my parents had chosen to move back to lebanon for next year. I could have started an actually worldly, interesting life that meant something. Instead of sitting here on my computer typing about wizards. If I were to move to Lebanon next year, it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. Think about it. There is a whole world outside of our snobbish little country that thinks its simply amazing. It saddens me that I can't see my future ANYWHERE else. I know that I am at least applying to college in Lebanon. Who knows. Maybe then I will be able to lead my life as an adventure instead of as a chore. 

Its funny. Even though I know that my letter isn't coming, I still feel the need to wait next to the mailbox. Funny. I hope I stay. I hope I stay and get in. Or move to Lebanon. Or stay and get in, since I know my parents said no to Lebanon, and that it's not actually happening. 

I just want life to be purely awesome, and amazing.

I just haven't learned how to embrace it yet.

Daily Puzzle Round 2

Hey Guys. New Rule with the puzzles. I don't know how successful this will be (probably not at all), because not a ton of people read my blog. The new rule / thing with the puzzles is that once you think you know the answer, comment on the post with what you think the answer is. The first person to correctly post the answer wins a prize! (most likely a crappy one like a hug or a shout out.) but who doesnt want a crappy prize?

Daily puzzle:

An art expert went to a sale and bought a picture he knew to be worthless. Why?

Hint:

He was honest and there were no crooked motives involved. He did not intend to take any action to make the picture more valuable. He would not have bought the picture if it had been rolled up.