Sunday, June 20, 2010


I wanted to thank you for everything that you have done for me. You have been the most supportive, most amazing father a girl could ever ask for. I love our relationship, and I love that I get to be your daughter. I love our walks and the discussions that we have while we're on them. I love that I can tell you things that Mom would flip out about, and that you take them normally (ex: more than half of the upper schoolers drink and at least 10 people in our grade get high at school every day). And you just say, I thought so. I love that you challenge me to be a better person and to try as hard as humanly possible. I love that you love donkeys, when they are supposed to be stupid animals in the arab culture. I love that you are the smartest person that I know and that you know everything about everything. I love that you give me second chances. I love that you let me stay in Los Angeles. I love that you are going to help me through my years. I really appreciate everything that you do. Thank you so much Baba. 



I was scared to write this post before, because I knew that people read it and judge me, but then I realized that this is my blog, and I should be able to write what ever I want to on it with out caring about who is reading this or what it means. 
I just wanted to make this post because I have been really proud of myself and my accomplishments this year, and what they could possibly mean for me. Ninth grade was really hard on me, and I thought that I would never recover (as the student that I was), but this year, I really got my act together. Second semester I got straight As, I'm going to take 3 AP classes next year and two honors, I'm going to be in Drama Ensemble, and I feel like I have finally found to secret to being the person that I want to be. The successful Zena, who gets what she wants by working toward her goals. 

Finding said "secret" or "key" took me a long time, but honestly, what I did was just revert back to 7th grade mode. In seventh grade I was so happy, and had such a thirst for knowledge. I got up every morning to look pretty for school, and ate breakfast, and actually took care of my self. So that is what I did. I started eating healthy, taking care of my body and mind, I started sleeping more, I was excited to go to school every morning. I walked into classes knowing everything I needed to know, and it worked. I got above a 95% on a majority of the tests that I took. So I have kept taking care of myself. I now see how important it is that I don't let myself go. 

I started SAT/ACT (depending on which one I choose to take) tutoring, and I did amazingly well on some portions of both. (meaning not english......). But now I have to chose which one to take. I did so well on the SAT math, but I did really well on the ACT science and reading comp. All I can think about right now is how much I want to get into Penn and go there, and study there, and I just want to make the right decisions that will get me there. I hope to God that I can get into one of the top schools of my choice. 

This summer I am so excited to be working with Skye and taking my arabic class and going on the Asthma bus. I am so excited to actually get down and work. Getting into stuff that I am so interested in and actually getting to skink my teeth into it. It is going to be so much fun and so interesting. I am also excited to live at Phoebes house. Which I am secretly planning to do. because I like her.

I feel like this post could just go on and on and on about my scholarly anxieties. But I think I will end it here. I have so much to prove, and I can't wait to get up there and show people what I'm made of.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010


Dear Neil Patrick Harris,

You are such an amazing man. You are beautiful, exceptionally talented, kick ass, and best of all awesome. Not only are you a great comedic actor, but you pulled off broadway too, and have mad an amazing name for yourself in the extremely tough business we call show. You are my idol. And I'm kind of in love with you. Just by the way..

Happy Birthday

Tuesday, June 1, 2010


um... yes.

this is going to be one overdue, super long, super random post.

1. when it comes to writing, I am a minimalist. Everyone tries to use big giant words when writing creatively, to make it sound descriptive. NO! no. no no. it doesn't sound good. You don't want to say, "her beautiful, glorious, golden hair flowed ever so smoothly, like water in a vast, expansive river, and glissenned like that of an angle, her blah blah blah I dont want to hear it!" simple. simple writing is the most beautiful writing in the world. no extensive unnecessary descriptions. simple is better. "her golden hair flowed" or better yet, i prefer "her golden hair flew" flew. like a bird. its nice. it leaves something up to imagination. but its like seriously? you dont need to be over descriptive to write nicely, actually, i really hate overdescriptive poems and stories. it really annoys me. 

2. it is definitely wrong how much i love neil patrick harris. every one is like.. seriously? but he's so gay! well i don't care! he is amazing and kick ass and awesome. and i want him to be my best friend. and i love barney stinson. especially in that one episode where he pretended to be married to lily and when he was with robin. barney stinson is amazing. and so is NPH. 

3. it's summer. it's actually summer. summer is actually here. i am so happy. i think. pretty much. its summer. but i only have two years of high school left. where did my childhood go? where did everything go? i miss when my sister would sneak around every night to get a midnight snack. now all she does is convince herself that shes not hungry. she used to eat oreos all the time. every picture we have of her, she had oreo crumbs on her face. she was so cute. where did things start to go wrong with her? 

4. just to clear the air: i love my sister so so so much. she just doesnt love my family back. and if she does (which im sure she does on some level), she does her best to hide it. it gets so difficult and tiring to deal with her when all she does is yell at me and mom. its like she melted moms backbone. only my dad can get to her. and me on occasion. i dont know why she treats us like she does. i know that on some level she cares, but she has been working on hiding who she truly is and what she really feels for years, to the point where she cant even be nice to us. her whole life is a show. i know she suffers. i know that more than anyone else. but its gotten to a point where its just too much to handle and to do and to ... everything.

5. i really hope that people dont read my blog. i mean. like. i love having one, but i dont want it to be a thing. my blog is for me. other people can read it of course, but i dont want it to become a thing at my school or something. i hope to god no 8th graders or sevies read this. its all really personal. i might change my url.

6. i wish that this year my dad had decided to move to lebanon.

7. i hate that people go to such great measures to lose weight. it really upsets me. she should love herself for who she is, and be proud of herself. i am proud of who i am, and i would never change a thing. she doesnt believe in God anymore. i dont know why. i wonder what made her change her mind. i can't imagine living without believing in God, or believing in something. she doesnt even believe in herself, so i have to believe in her twice as hard. once for me, and once for her. 

8. i flushed the pills down the toilet.

9. How i met your mother is really good. like really really good. like good enough that i come home to it every night and it fixes things. its nice to fix things.