The Mail

Drama ensemble letters are coming. But I don't get a letter because I haven't told coach if I'm moving yet or not. I hate that my parents can't make a decision. Waiting for my letter (which I know is not going to come anytime soon) makes me feel like I'm waiting for a hogwarts owl. All the excitement and anticipation. I want to get in so badly! Just like I would if I was a wizard.  I wish I was a wizard. I also secretly wish that my parents had chosen to move back to lebanon for next year. I could have started an actually worldly, interesting life that meant something. Instead of sitting here on my computer typing about wizards. If I were to move to Lebanon next year, it would be the best thing that ever happened to me. Think about it. There is a whole world outside of our snobbish little country that thinks its simply amazing. It saddens me that I can't see my future ANYWHERE else. I know that I am at least applying to college in Lebanon. Who knows. Maybe then I will be able to lead my life as an adventure instead of as a chore. 

Its funny. Even though I know that my letter isn't coming, I still feel the need to wait next to the mailbox. Funny. I hope I stay. I hope I stay and get in. Or move to Lebanon. Or stay and get in, since I know my parents said no to Lebanon, and that it's not actually happening. 

I just want life to be purely awesome, and amazing.

I just haven't learned how to embrace it yet.